Lame Super Powers

There are SO many comics, cartoons, movies, tv shows, books, etc. that are about super heroes and their amazing super powers.  I thought it would be funny to list a bunch of super powers that would be really cool to have but then severely restrict their use.  I have to give some credit to my mantastic husband as he helped me brainstorm some of these.  Without further ado, I give you...

1.  Ability to get *slightly* stronger radio or cell phone signals with your mind.

2.  Super strength that can only be used to open jars.

3.  Super speed but only when you are running to the bathroom.

4.  Super smell abilities that can only be used to definitively point out "the fellar".

5.  X-ray vision that only works when viewing old men.

6.  Telekinesis that can only be used to press 'mute' on
electronics.

7.  Ability to foresee the future but only to predict American Idol results.

8.  Ability to read minds but only the songs that get stuck in other people's heads.

9.  Ability to breathe under water but only when staying completely still, once you move you lose the ability.

10.  Ability to hack into and see visions of other people's bank accounts but only to check the available balances.

11.  Ability to fly but only if you are trying to catch birds.

12.  Invisibility cloak that is made out of the itchiest of all wool and you are deathly allergic to it.

13.  Shape shifting ability but you can only shift into the Octomom during the delivery of her many babies.

14.  Everything you touch turns to gold but it's only gold-plated.

15.  Able to leap tall buildings but you can only land barefooted on piles of Legos. 

And now, I'm off to do sort of cool things in really lame ways...