The Artist's Way

For anyone who has toyed with the idea of reading and following the 12-week program “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron, I HIGHLY suggest doing it.  If you are making excuses that you are too busy and you don’t know how on Earth you would be able to work it into your life, I call your bluff on that because you have more free time than you think.  I work full time, have 3 young sons who have many activities, and I understand chalking things up to being “too busy” but, it is only an excuse.  If you feel creatively blocked in some way, this book is a fabulous way to find your path again. 

I am just starting Week 5 of the program and I’m also part of an online group where we check in each week via a blog and Facebook.  The check-in process has been good because it helps to keep me accountable.  However, even without it, I think I would still be following the program within the book. 

I have been creating a lot lately even before I started the book.  Where I have felt blocked is in deciding what I want to be when I grow up (so to speak).  I like my job and I get to work from home, which I am very thankful to be able to do.  I am good at what I do because my job requires me to be very organized and detail-oriented.  Those are some of my strengths.  Conversely, I also have this creative side that I am not able to use in my day job.  Instead, I spend all of my free time using my creative side, whether it’s in the morning before work, on my lunch break, at night, or sitting on the sidelines of a soccer game crocheting while I watch.  I will squeeze the heck out of every spare minute I have to be creative – like boa constrictor squeeze.  Insert lame boa constrictor drawing here...

I have been feeling, for a while now, like I am meant to do something different with my life.  I just have not been able to figure out what that is.  I also haven’t been able to figure out how to combine my strengths.  My logical, organized, detail-oriented self has never become formerly acquainted with my creative, always looking for beauty, artsy self.  I started “The Artist’s Way” with the hope that it would lead me to my true path.  I did not expect to have my whole life mapped out after 12-weeks.  I really wanted to just open myself up to possibilities and maybe end up with a rough draft mapping where I need to go. 

One of the essential pieces of the program is the Morning Pages.  Basically, every morning you just write – stream of consciousness style.  I was not sure if I would stick with this but I have.  I actually enjoy it now.  This type of writing removes all of those negative and “blah” thoughts from my brain before I start my day.  Also, as an emotional bottler (one who bottles her feelings), this has been very good for me.  It has helped me to identify some feelings that typically, I would just try to ignore.  I have never been one to keep a journal but I have enjoyed the Morning Pages and I have learned about myself as a result.  These Morning Pages have also helped me discover what I think may be my path.  I discovered this path in Week 4, which is more than I expected and quite amazing to me.

I have decided…drum roll please…to write a children’s book.  I’m not talking about a short story with illustrations either.  I mean a book aimed at older, grade school children complete with chapters.  One night I had this idea pop into my head and I could not shake it.  It just continued to grow and pestered me to acknowledge it.  I have always heard that you should write what you know.  Well, this idea combined what I know with some other fun things (I cannot tell you my idea in the hopes that maybe one day you will buy my book and be surprised, of course).  I started researching articles on writing a book.  The more I researched, the more I realized something.  This is how I combine the organized and detailed part of myself with the creative part of my self.  In order to write the quality book I would want to write, I have a lot of work and research to do (organized-detailed Sara).  However, in order to write the story and make it interesting, I need to open myself up and tap into my unique vision of the story (creative Sara).  I’ve never considered writing before, although people have complimented me on my writing style before.  How in the world did I miss that writing was a way to combine my two selves?

Yesterday I spent almost 2 hours at the library researching and outlining.  My mind is going a million miles a minute with ideas that I keep jotting down and my detailed self has been working to put things together and asking all the appropriate questions necessary for creating a well-developed and intriguing story.  Of course there is that inner critic inside of me that wants to shut down the project but I won’t let that happen.  This is something I am meant to do and I honestly believe that.  Once I recognized this, I felt a peace and calm in my soul that I have not felt in a while.  Even if the book never gets published, as long as my boys enjoy it, I will consider it a success. 

The point to all of this is even if you don’t feel like you have a creative bone in your body I encourage you to open yourself up to possibilities.  You never know what you are capable of until you let yourself try new things, make mistakes, and learn from it.  I have tried many, MANY new art mediums and crafts.  I have made many mistakes and I have created things that are a hot mess, BUT I keep trying and will continue to do so.  If it is something I truly want to learn or I really love, I will keep at it until I get the hang of it.  We are only as busy as we let ourselves be.  There are 24 hours in a day and I make sure that I suck as much beauty and art out of every one of them, every day.  You can too.   Example of said "hot mess"...a MS Paint drawing of a Doodling Goat...

With that, I must go.  Today I am going to finish crocheting a hat for my son, research details for my book, find an awesome 80s look for Halloween tonight, and maybe eat candy until I’m sick.  What are you going to do to make this day beautiful? 

To end, here's a picture of Halloween past with me, my mom, and my little sister (about 27 years ago - yikes!).  Happy Halloween, y’all! 

The Search for the Lost Creativity

It's so easy sometimes to let life get in the way and to pull away from being creative.  For me, it makes for a sad, boring Sara.  Like everything else, it goes in spurts and when I notice it happening, I now know to get myself back on track right away.  It really does keep me sane.  Whether I'm doodling or working on a big project, I need to create every day.  If I go too long without it, I become "out of sorts".  I'll wander around the house aimlessly and just feel down in the dumps but not really know why initially.  I tend to bottle my feelings as it is so, expressing myself creatively is truly my outlet for those feelings.  I believe firmly in "use it or lose it".  If I don't "use it", I completely "lose it".  By it, I mean my grip on my life and happiness.  Sounds extreme but I'm happier when I can be creative on a regular basis. 

I have 3 children -- all boys.  I love those wild and crazy guys.  When I first had children, I lost my identity.  I became a wife and mother (which is wonderful) but I went too far with it and let that become my sole identity.  Add some working mom guilt to that, and that was me, in a nutshell.  When they were babies, I didn't notice it because babies require so much attention.  It wasn't until they started getting older that I realized I was restless.  My marriage was (and is) great and I adore my husband.  I'm a good mom.  I love my family and friends.  However, something seemed "off".  I started noticing that when my boys were old enough to play together for longer periods of time and my husband had his own hobbies, I would literally just wander around the house unsure of what to do with myself.  I felt agitated, bored, and restless.  The worst part was that I couldn't figure out why I felt like that.  My husband would suggest I get out of the house and go piddle around town.  So I would go to the craft stores or the book stores and wander for a while.  Being a young family, money was limited so I would buy a magazine here and there.  That became my weekly treat.  I'd go out on the weekends and buy a couple of magazines - fashion, art, music, etc.  I loved reading them and I saved all of them.  I'd get inspired by clothes, colors, photographs, articles.  I enjoyed having something small that I looked forward to buying and reading.

One day I started feeling antsy and I recognized it as the need to create something.  It had been a long time since I'd made anything so I was out of practice and I didn't know where to start.  It was overwhelming.  So I bought some magazines and started really noticing colors and patterns.  I started cutting things out and I found a sketch book that I would glue or tape these findings into regularly.  I would cut out photos that spoke to me in some way - whether it was funny or interesting, beautiful or ugly, offensive or bland.  I would cut out pieces of anything that had a color or pattern I felt drawn to or may want to recreate at some point.  I cut out pictures of food and clothes.  I cut out quotes and articles.  All of this went into my scrapbook until it was almost full.  Every week I would buy more magazines and, once I read through them entirely, I would start cutting and pasting.  I enjoyed looking through my scrapbook as much as I enjoyed my magazines.  It was starting to inspire me.

This went on for many months until finally I realized I needed to stop searching for inspiration and start creating some of my own.  It started small and I would create but, still go long periods where I didn't create at all. I started to get a little more creative with my magazine book.  I started cutting pieces out and putting them together in odd ways.

Eventually I came to understand that I need this to keep myself happy.  Now I make jewelry, crochet, paint, draw, sculpt wire, make mosaics, and, from my initial love of magazines, I work with collage art as well.  I love collage art because you can add so much to it to create something original.  I am noticing that collage is making it's way into my other mediums as well, whether I'm adding different items to jewelry or mixing my love of wire sculpture with crochet. 

In looking at the photos of collage art I've done, you probably can't tell how much time and how many mediums truly went into this work.  I think I love collage because it's like me...on the outside it seems pretty easy going and simple, but no one realizes how much is involved and how complex and textured it really is.  Only the people closest to it knows.  I can relate to that.

I have since grown and learned so much.  I still get lost in myself sometimes but I understand the importance of keeping a piece of me no matter what.  In the past couple of years, I've realized how important it is to me to leave my mark on this world.  I enjoy making things for people I care about that they can keep for a long time.  I enjoy selling things I create to strangers and hearing them say how much they love it.  I enjoy making things that my kids can have for years and pass down to their children.  I enjoy teaching my children different forms of art and teaching them how to look for inspiration and appreciate it.  I've developed a fiery burning inside of me.  Right now it's just an incessant need to create, learn, and grow as an artist.  One day though I know that it will be my path and my career.  For now I just have to be patient (or pretend to be anyway).

I'm just going to end this with the term "sublime chocolate experience" while I eat some fun sized chocolate bars (although I found that they aren't much fun until you eat at least 3).